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I’m not really a Christian (although I don’t discount the possibility that Jesus did exist and was a very strong shaman), but there’s always been something fascinating about the concepts of the ‘Antichrist’, the ‘Lawless One’, and the ‘False Prophet’. Many Christian theologists think all of these may be about one single person, even though the Bible doesn’t explicitly say so. But if that is so, then the Bible presents this person as quite deliberate; he has consciously chosen to be the Antichrist. I’ve always wondered if that was even possible — if you were foolish enough to actually choose that, wouldn’t you be too foolish to actually do the job?

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Rationality. Political correctness. The Devil. What might such things have in common? They can all be defined (although definitions may vary widely), described, reasoned about, and in some cases, can even meaningfully explain things. But, as far as I can tell, none of them actually exist. They are all projections, mental defenses that we humans use to protect our own fragile egos. To truly understand the world, and maybe survive the years to come, we must understand such illusions, and where they come from.

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This is a comment I originally wrote for a forum thread, where the thread starter was basically asking about differences in rationality between genders, on account of men’s slightly larger brains.

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Some of the mail I get is worth my time, some not. Some is just on the borderline. But it occurs to me that sometimes, I might be better off giving a thorough response in my journal, rather than responding privately (or not respond at all).

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In an interview a while back, they chose a headline saying that I was looking for the meaning of life. But I don’t think I ever said that. I wouldn’t have, because I believe I already discovered the meaning of life a long time ago. But there are (at least) two problems with it. The first is, of course, that it’s not really the “Ultimate Question”.

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Regression is a psychological defense mechanism where you protect yourself by reverting to an earlier development stage. In other words, it’s when you respond to stress by acting more immature than you are. It’s common, but it seems people rarely talk about it. And it’s only when I recently started looking into such things that I found that it explains a lot about my childhood.

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Last weekend, there was an “Alternativmesse” (Alternative Convention) here in Tromsø, and so I decided to attend this for the first time. But when, like me, you’re not so interested in something to believe, but in the hard truth, it becomes an interesting experience. On the one hand, it functions as an open marketplace for stuff that might be real but not mainstream for some reason. On the other, because of that openness, and the relative lack of public oversight, it’s also an attractive marketplace for fraudsters and con artists. How do you tell the truths from the lies?

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All my life I’ve held myself back, both consciously and unconsciously, for various reasons. But now, I’m at a point in my life where I think I need to stop doing that. I have to let go. Perhaps writing about it will help.

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There’s a little skill I think I lost many years (probably over a decade) ago: the ability to cry when I’m sad. Being able to cry is, in a way, healthy – it lets you get things out. If you can’t cry, things might stay inside you indefinitely. They become aches that never quite go away. You can try, but they’re always there, holding you back.

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